to monia... HELP!

Hey monia,

I don't expect a reply from you about these things any time suuuper soon, but I would like to hear your thoughts before Monday (if possible!) so I have time to react... or to stop thinking.

I know my narrative and original intentions are strong and clear, but this urban planning thing has taken on a lif of its own, and feels quite foreign and poorly pursued on my part. Basically... the low rigor [and resulting uninventiveness?] of just producing without thought drawing after drawing is not enough to keep my interest, and I am questioning a lot of what I have done / am doing. I'm having trouble deciding what should guide my thinking, largely based on my indecision over what the lines and levels on my drawing / model actually signify.

current issues:
-inharmonious with selected site-- existing buildings, roads, programs i'm 'destroying'
-little consideration for how people are actually using this
-unclear about what model signifies-- what is building, should there be building?, landscape? starting to feel like a massive zoo / park


My two thoughts are these:
1. Reality / Fact based;
What is the purpose of this plan? What is it actually doing? What is the initial infrastructure that starts growth of plants? Should the initial infrastructure (like the pavement drawing) be London as it exists now?
What is the inherent value in the project that justifies knocking out such a huge swath of London? Should my intrusion be a -new- city planning tool (clean slate), or something that fits into an existing city (parasitic, Friedman)?

Perhaps it considers something like recycling / waste management
**My issues arise from how people actually function in this space as a city, the materials required to build something like this, what the architecture is / how it is made... It is very REAL.

2. Narrative / Conception based;
Invention of a new world, new city
Perhaps the issue is that this is not an urban planning issue, but simply a planning tool... it's not a solution for waste management or densification or infrastructure design... these are all relics of the cities we know and live in currently [and also are 1. kind of boring, and 2. don't exactly fit with my current narrative or past focus]. This is a conceptual proposal, more of a critical commentary than anything intended to be built.
-References like Yona, Koolhaas 'Voluntary Prisoners' or Peter Cook book?

But where does it go from here? How do I visualize what the space actually is? How do I make it convincing? Do I continue to write and develop the manifesto, as a sort of illustrated written work? Is it collage, firmly based in the abstract, like Koolhaas, Cook, and Friedman?
Do I concern myself with the architectural elements at all? Or maybe, like Cook, roughly design a few funky / absurd bldgs that fit after I've created their perfect landscape?


========
Lots of questions, and apologies.
I know that these are all things I have to answer for myself, and that I just need to accept one direction or the other (the second sounds very freeing)... but I'd like to hear your thoughts.

Thanks! see you monday!
--
- Laura